The Phil and JMadd Story

So below is the winning story on my friends. This story written by yours truly helped the couple win their wedding photographer! This is eveidence to the contrary that I am not cynical all the time. Just most of it.
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When you meet Jessica, it is her mannerisms, her way of storytelling and infectious laughter that draws you to her. Always ready to listen when you need to speak, to help you up when you fall, to pat you on the back when you need encouragement, I consider her more than a friend, she is family. Over the years we have seen her enter bad relationship after bad relationship. To see a person with such a big heart, not find the right man to fill it, had dampened the spirit of all her friends.

Phil, standing at 6’7, is an imposing figure. Built to be a bouncer, better suited in his role as teacher, once you get to know him he is less Andre the Giant and more a cuddly teddy bear. He wears an invisible armour to protect his heart that comes from a loss when he was very young. Before he had entered the troubling teenage years, Phil’s father passed away from cancer, leaving his mother to raise three young boys and those boys to become the men of the house. And while he keeps his emotions highly guarded, there is one alarming trait that he can’t seem to camouflage: when he looks at Jessica, you know that he is truly in love; that she is his happily ever after.

When they met five years ago we were happy that Jessica had found a guy that she not only got along very well with, but that we all got along with. And while things progressed – taking vacations, moving in together – there was one thing that stood in the way of their bliss: marriage.

It was a year before they met that Phil had faced one of the darkest times in his life. He had proposed to his ex-girlfriend on Christmas Day, ready to ring in the New Year to a new life with her. But weeks before the wedding they had planned, she walked away from their relationship. Leaving the church booked, the RSVP’s received and Phil a broken and changed man.

Jessica came into her relationship with Phil knowing only one thing about marriage: that one day she would be happily involved in one. Her parents valued marriage and family and passed that on to her. In this generation of only thinking about oneself, Jessica spends every Saturday having tea with her grandparents. She knew that they also held marriage in esteem and she respected their opinion about her relationship. Having grown up in this wonderful family that reminds you of a fifties television series most of us only dreamed of living, Jessica felt it was time to discuss the future of their relationship. It was then that the rocky road to the alter began.

Disillusioned by the idea of marriage being an institution that Jessica was programmed to believe by her parents and society, Phil did not propose. The elephant that was marriage was always in the room. The discussions about getting married always got heated between them, with the end result being tears but no resolution. Phil had opened his broken heart to begin the relationship with Jessica and the idea of marriage brought fears of another rejection. Jessica on the other hand wondered if she could ever convince Phil that she was not his ex-fiancé. She worried that the damage had been done, that Phil wouldn’t put himself out there to be hurt again.

As I write this, they have been engaged for a week. The elephant gets all the attention now. Once a forbidden topic, the wedding day seems to be the only thing Phil can now talk about. He epitomizes the idea of second chances. What once almost tore the fiancés apart, is bringing them closer together. It was the week before her grandfather passed away from cancer that Phil had bought the ring to propose to Jessica. And while other brides and grooms fill their days dreaming of what dress to wear and the perfect wedding favor, they have unselfishly decided to dedicate their wedding day to not only those that cannot be there - her grandfather, his father – but to the family that stood by them. There was no discussion about where to have the ceremony; the uncle who had stepped into the place his father should have been, is not able to travel far, so the ceremony would be close to him. And although they could have chosen the spring season that symbolizes rebirth, or a summer month to leave more time for planning and guaranteed pretty sun filled pictures, with the blessing of her grandmother, they will have the wedding in December. It will be a year after her family gathered in Halifax to bury and say goodbye to their patriarch. It will be a time to remember that family is the most important ingredient to any wedding ceremony. And while they know that favors make a wedding pretty, donating that money to help find a cure for the disease that took the people they love is more important.

Fairytales are wonderful to believe in, but hard to make work in real life. The fantasy we commit to heart as children, what we understand to be what love truly is –never transpires. Instead, in the trials of relationships we learn that our hearts our fragile and that our egos are easily bruised. But if we are lucky, once in our lifetime comes a person who makes all of that worth going through. I know this, because I have witnessed it in my two friends. And while they are teachers, not war heroes; are healthy not sick, I think they deserve to win this contest because they have taught me that there will be bumps in the road, but that they can be surpassed. They inspire me to look towards the future and not stop at the first, second or third obstacle. Most importantly, they have made me believe in a new, modern fairytale: besides kissing a lot of toads, your Prince Charming is out there, and if you are willing to work on the relationship, before you know it Once Upon a Time happens to us all.